Today the kids and I got together for a short bit with the Goshen County Homeschoolers group to make Christmas cards for soldiers. Unfortunately, I had to go to the dentist about 45 minutes after we got there. (I did make one card that I think whoever gets will enjoy ^-^) When I got back it seems that my children were a little less than well behaved. One mother told me that she had to 'deal' with Fox but he ignored her more than once. Finally, she confronted him and asked why he was ignoring her, he told some lame reason- to which she called him on and it turned out that he simply did not want to do what he was asked to do. Well, when she told me about this she said that it'd been taken care of and I didn't need to talk to him about it.
Really? I don't think so.
I definitely think that is something that needs to be talked about again. With his mother. And although I didn't say anything at the time, I wondered, "If it didn't need to be dealt with again- not brought to his attention again- then why was she telling me in the first place?" I tell my kids that if they have a conflict between each other but they can resolve it in a satisfactory manner, they don't need to come tell me what one or the other did. It just makes me want to 'deal' with it all over!
I value this mother's opinions, I really do, and her kids are quick to behave so she must be doing something right! But I think she feels bad when something happens and my kids may get into trouble again for what they've done. I want to make sure that they understand what they've done is wrong. That is why I bring it up again. I don't do it so that I can punish them- they'd already been called on their behavior (which I think is slightly embarrassing to them in a group situation)- unless they need to be.
I guess I just had a guilty conscience that my kids are sometimes disrespectful and ill-mannered to others. You know the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink"? I sometimes feel this way about manners and behaviors. There are some things that my kids do that I do not see myself doing- and definitely not my husband- but if we are the examples, why do they do them? Of course, I'm so far from perfect that I must do these things as well. Sigh. It is something that must constantly be reinforced and there need to be reminders.
When we get short tempered, often we snap. One of our four in the family is more prone to that than the others. When it happens, reminders of how snotty, sharp, careless words are not helpful to the situation and are often painful- that's all I know to do. "Forgetting" is another sloppy habit- often bordering on disrespectful, in my opinion- that one of us has a problem with more than the others. I understand that we are all works in progress and we need constant reminders. But it does get tough.
It gets tiring.
I keep other kids on a regular basis for friends. My girls have friends over and My Nephews and niece come over on occasion. I have also been Nursery director at our church plus taught Sunday school for several years. If its something minor I don't tell the parents because it had been taking care of its over and done. But if it was something I as a parent would want to know that my kid had done I tell the parents. Because I would not like to find out my kids were acting up from another. And I think its our place to talk to them at the very least if they were acting up. I don't always agree with how its gets taken care of by another parent.
ReplyDeleteKids do learn by example but sometimes it just takes them a while to get it. Mine have trouble with expecting everyone to be nice to them but then turn around and not afford the same courtesy to their sisters. I tell them you talk snotty to some one that is what you are going to get back so don't wonder why they hurt your feelings. Trying to drive home treat others how YOU want to be treated..
One day you will witness your kid following through with something you have been trying to pound into their head.. It makes it all worth it and makes you realize hey they do listen occasionally!
What burns me up is when a Homeschool kid acts up and someone says well they are homeschooled... I am like excuse me??? Are you saying that if they go to public they will NEVER act up??
Praying for you all....
Wow! Daughter of mine... Sometimes children really do do things their parents would never think of doing - never DREAM of doing! Don't be so hard on yourself. You really are doing a great job with two very hard to control kids. You REALLY are doing a great job with them... trust me. :D
ReplyDelete@ Tonia- I think what you said hit it on the head..."One day you will witness your kid following through with something you have been trying to pound into their head.. It makes it all worth it and makes you realize hey they do listen occasionally!" That is what I'm hoping for. Thank you for the prayers :)
ReplyDelete@ Mom- these guys are not too bad ;) most of the time they're pretty swell kids. Everyone usually tells me how great they are...it's just sometimes... Sigh.
And I haven't had a very good day with my attitude today (short tempered? impatient? irritable? you name it!) and I felt bad for typing all that up yesterday! I am never rude to people I don't know (or even ones I do know but not very well) but it's my family that should be more important.